Binge Watching

How great is it that we can binge watch shows now? It is so awesome. No waiting. No commercials. Hours on end of escapism. Can't sleep? No problem. Catch another episode.

So, confession: I love TV shows. Reality shows (nothing with hillbillies...sorry hillbillies), cop shows, movies, internet shows, comedy, drama, suspense. Love it.

This summer, I was just out of shows. I know, it seems like this would never happen, but it does. So I was on HBOGo, and thought it would be sort of fun to watch Oz. This was HBO's first drama series, and for its time, was very provocative and cutting edge. It is pretty racy, portraying prison life, while providing a political and socio-economic commentary on a broken system that warehouses the poor and those of color. It was on like 25 years before Orange is the New Black. So that in and of itself is sad, because OITNB is basically saying all the same things, but with women instead of men. Which means it's all still a problem.

Anyway, back to the show. It was really good. I think there were like eight seasons, and it has some big stars in it before they were big stars, and some people that were on Eight is Enough, and then also some people you never saw again. Oh, and the dude from Ghostbusters. I think he just died. Ernie Hudson. Maybe he didn't. I need to Google him.

As I was watching it, I realized how inbred TV shows are. The doctor is the same chick that was the captain in Dexter. And the head of the El Norte gang or something was the main detective that married and divorced the captain in Dexter. There was also a bunch of people that went on to The Sopranos, like pretty much everyone. One of the main guys went on to Law and Order SUV (more on that in a minute). The dude that played the Governor always plays a mean guy. The main villian wears a hat that defies gravity. It was good. The intro was hella long because that was in during that time, but you can fast forward over that.

I have no idea how this guy's hat stayed on.

So then I decided to commit myself to Law and Order SUV FROM THE VERY BEGINNING. Yes, you heard that right. There are like 18 or 5,000 seasons of this show, but I went way back. Detective Oliva Benson was so young! And guess what? Pretty much everyone from Oz is on SUV. Like everyone. The undercover cop. The stand in Oz leader. The nazi. The Irish guy. The main guy with the muscles. The Governor. Everyone. I'm literally like 10 seasons in now, and they are still showing up and I think, that guy seems familiar. Oh yah, he was on Oz.

Pretty much TV shows and acting is like any job. People get hired, then they recommend their friends, and then a bunch of people who used to work together end up working together again.

Oh my gosh! Ernie Hudson is not dead! He was just in the new Ghostbusters movie. I got confused because he gets killed in Oz. Whew!

Anyway, if you're a mom, try watching some good (or not even that good) TV shows for some downtime. Right now, I'm waiting for my husband to go out, so I can catch up on Real Housewives of the OC. I like to watch it free of judgement.

TBT: Why so many pencils?

I've been digging through my old blog, and thought I'd "replay" some of the once I still find funny, and not totally horrifying.

I know that I shouldn't let things like this bug me. With 12 kids, there are bound to be things out of place. And really...I accept that totally and completely. I'm really not hung up on total neatness. But for the past few months, I find myself increasingly irritated by three things, in the order of MOST annoying:

Found. Everywhere.

1. Random yellow pencils EVERYWHERE. I mean everywhere. At all times. Mixed in with dishes, on my bed, under the kitchen table, on the couch, on the deck, on the lawn, in the sink, in with the toothbrushes. Every night, as I'm shutting down the house to go to bed, pushing chairs in, turning off lights, it seems like they are laying around trying to make me mad. Seriously. Why are there so many pencils everywhere? 
2. Hot Wheels. Now, they are not as common as the pencils thankfully, and with 5 boys, it's hardly any surprise that there would be TONS of these everywhere. It seems they are always in the shower.
3. Dirty socks. You would think this would be more irritating to me than the pencils, because it is certainly more gross. But luckily, while it is not uncommon, there are never as many of them. Update: This are more of these than ever. And it's just as gross, if not grosser.

Tadpoles in my fridge

There are tadpoles in my fridge. Literally. Three of them, swimming in a Tupperware. I don't know why they are there...well, I do, but I don't. They are there because I have a shit ton of boys, and those boys have a shit ton of friends. They are always around, hanging out in the driveway, playing in the yard, shooting hoops. And catching frogs and tadpoles.

Like this. Swimming around. In my fridge.

Why they thought they should go in the fridge, I do not know. And I don't even really care. It's Friday evening, I'm tired, and I want them returned to their natural habitat, STAT! We have a catch and release policy in our house. I don't like to see little frogs or bugs, or even spiders, in jars. (It is okay, however, to catch moths and throw them in the ginormous spider's web right outside our back door. I'm good with that. It's science!) It makes me feel bad seeing things in a jar. So go ahead and catch it, but then put it back.

Now, to be fair, they were in the garage fridge. My first thought was because they thought I wouldn't look in there. So I was pissed. When I carried the container the house, I already knew who was involved and I called him to the dining room loudly. "They aren't mine. They are {insert friend's name}." This is a new friend who is now at our house pretty much every day. Eating dinner over here. Nice enough kid. But I am baffled for a second. Why would this kid put tadpoles in my fridge? Doesn't he know they will get cold? I know that he's moved here from a different state, so I stop to think, "Is this a thing? Like a custom, or something?" No. No. It's not a state thing. It's a boy thing.

So by now I am really feeling bad for the poor, cold tadpoles, and I want them returned to their pond immediately. I tell my child to get on his bike and hustle is butt over to the pond across the street and put them back. "But that pond is dried up." What? Where did they come from? "From the pond by {insert friend's name}'s house." Dang it. This is farther away. I look at the tadpoles. I look outside. It's getting dark.

I command him to get on his bike and return them immediately. I do not care that it's a five minute bike ride. No, I don't care. You can do it. You've already been back and forth from there like 17 times this afternoon. One more time will not kill you. Child leaves. He's back in less than a minute. "It's leaking." What is leaking? "The container." I do not care. Put it in a plastic bag and start peddling. Go straight there. Tell your friend tad poles don't go in the fridge. Tell him to put them back in the pond. And no he cannot spend the night. Then pedal back here as fast as you can.

Is it time for bed yet? Why yes, I believe it is.

An auger, not a plunger

Fair warning. This blog is going to have many posts about bathroom stuff. And poop. So, if you aren't into that sort of thing, you should probably turn away now. I write about this stuff not just because it is funny, but because it can be a big (literally) issue around here.

People. Listen to me. We have 12 kids, six of them boys. Five of these boys are turning into big teenagers who eat non-stop. We have two bathrooms. It's really an unavoidable topic.

Now, let me start by saying, I do not wish for more bathrooms. That would just mean another area that is dirty and needs to be cleaned. We really do get by. But we have some unique family rules. They are this:

1. You may not lock the door when you are showering, unless you are a teen or adult girl. Or dad. He always locks. And even then, you should be prepared to unlock the door if mom or a sister needs to go. Always unlock for mom. If you have a weiner, you can always go outside, so I do not feel sorry for you.
2. If you have to pee, and someone else is also peeing, do not pee in the bathtub. It is actually not a very long urinal, as much as it may seem like one. (This scenario comes up, in case you were wondering, after watching a long movie or playing Madden for hours, and your mom yells, "Time for bed NOW", and then you all suddenly have to pee at the same time.)
3. If you ignored #2, then for christ's sake, turn on the shower for a second and rinse it down. Do not just leave it there, sitting stagnant in the drain, waiting for your sister to take a shower the next day. That's just so gross.
4. If you do need to go while someone is showering, it should never be #2 under any circumstance. Unless of course you really have to. Then by all means, make it quick and spray right after. Apologize to the showeree and get the heck out of there.
5. Boys should always go #2 downstairs. The window actually opens down there. And also mom doesn't go down there so I can pretend I have a somewhat decent bathroom at least part of the time.
6. If you clog it, claim it. Don't leave it there for some unsuspecting person (your older sisters, or worse, their friends spending the night) to find and deal with. I'm serious. Claim it. (This rule is seldom followed).
7. Clean up after yourself. In case of a big clog, and subsequent unclogging, clean up after yourself. I am totally serious here. This is why foaming bleach spray was invented. Clean up! This means the plunger too. Don't leave that thing all nasty to rot away in the bathroom. (This rule is also seldom followed). Thus my obsession with checking the plunger. Gross, I know. But hey, you adapt...
8. If the plunger doesn't work, get the auger. You heard me. GET. THE. AUGER. Your dad has showed you how to use it. You know how to use it. So just do it. I don't care if you "can't". You can. And you are going to right now. And then see #7 above. I am serious.

This is an auger. Don't ask me how to use it.

Oh, you don't have an auger at your house? Why not? Do you not have 12 kids, six of them GIANT boys? Well, that's really nice for you. But at our house, we have an auger. A good friend of ours, who is a plumber, turned us on to this incredible invention. It's sort of like snaking your toilet. I honestly don't know how to use it. And this is on purpose. I am not getting involved. This is a man's job, or a job for anyone who actually needs to use it. Those who have need have been properly trained. I don't want to know. 

Another summer down

We are two weeks into "back to school", and I've already talked to one vice principal, emailed back and forth with six teachers, and had a voicemail from yet another one. Oh, and the transportation department called because my 11 year old son wanted to go to the Boys and Girls Club after school, and thought maybe the bus driver could call me to ask if it was okay. Uh, no. You need to figure that out the night before. At least he wasn't getting kicked off already. That's a good sign. So far, we're off to a slow start.

Brothers enjoying the sunset.

As of this date, we have all 12 back at home: three in college (it's expensive to live on your own, right?), four in high school, and five in middle school. They moved 6th grade to the middle school this year, which was like an extra bonus--the youngest two get on the bus 45 minutes earlier than last year. Nice. Our driveway looks like a used car lot. Not kidding.

We are pretty much using every square inch of space we have. And I have to say, it is working. Pinterest is great at giving you ideas about how to smash beds into a bedroom in a fashionable and space saving way. The older girls were skeptical, but it actually looks good. And so much extra space. Kidding this time.

In regards to space, I've been fantasizing lately (the past three years) of living in a studio apartment. I have learned that I really don't require too much space. Just me, my husband, my chihuahua. Maybe another chihuahua. Walking distance to work. No room really for anyone to come "stay" with us. Sorry, call your brothers or sisters. With the kids getting so much older, it's easy to start thinking this way. Then my husband says something like, "The youngest are only 11." Oh.

So, we're off to a good start this school year. I'm going to think positively and expect it will keep going this well. And look at how to decorate studio apartments on Pinterest.